


Up and down

by Outdoorsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Light Angst, M/M, Office AU, Sho Exchange, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22589197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outdoorsy/pseuds/Outdoorsy
Summary: They met in the elevator one rainy morning. Sho didn't quite know yet, how it would change his life. Matsumoto was the most beautiful and most mysterious man he had ever met.Posting this for Sho-exchange 19/20
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43
Collections: Hi-ho! I'm your aibou!





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lapetitchou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapetitchou/gifts).



Chapter 1: Monday

Sho watched the puddle forming slowly beneath the folded up umbrella he had leaned against the side of the elevator and took a small sip from his reusable coffee cup. With a bling, the elevator came to stop on the 1st floor and a huge group of people he had never seen piled into his silent elevator.

He usually used the employee entrance at the base floor, but obviously the group did not know about this. He first mistook them for a delegation from one of their business partners, but most of them were too young. It finally struck him that this was the day the new employees would start. The young starry-eyed, delusional university graduates who were wishing for a meaningful future in this company. He could warn them now. Warn them of the overtime they were going to work every day, of how soon enough their friends would find new friends while they stayed till late to finish their assignments. But they looked so hopeful and he could not bring himself to open his mouth.

Instead, he carefully studied them. There were two young girls wearing blouses not made for their boob size, desperately trying to get the attention of the guy next to them, who was typing away on his phone. One smaller guy had whipped out a Nintendo- the newest model- and Sho was impressed at how important the game must be when he even got it out for the 2-minute elevator ride. Sho took another sip from his coffee cup and savoured the slightly bitter flavour of caffeine. Coffee had long ago stopped working for him but he had gotten used to stopping by his favourite coffee place on the way to work and did enjoy his daily ritual. By now, the barista had memorized his order and most days he didn’t even have to say anything when he handed the barista his reusable cup. Aiba, a co-worker who had started working a year after him, had gifted it to him a few weeks back and was convinced that Sho could do his part in stopping climate change by drinking coffee from a reusable cup.

Next to Nintendo-guy was probably the wettest person Sho had ever seen. He was completely drenched, his bangs clinging to the frame of his glasses that were fogged up and Sho couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t own an umbrella. The suit he was wearing looked new but was now crumpled where the straps of his backpack were cutting into the fabric.

It was only when the elevator stopped and the two girls got off that Sho got a good look at wet guys face and froze. By now wet guy had taken off his glasses to clean them with the edge of his wet shirt and when he looked up and his slightly unfocused eyes met Sho‘s, Sho felt his heart skip a beat. Wet guy was probably the most attractive person Sho had ever seen. His face was slim, with thick eyebrows and expressive eyes. Around his lips, he had a few moles that made Sho wonder what it would be like to kiss him even though he had only just met this guy. His sharp features felt like a bit too much for his delicate face but all in all made for a beautiful picture.

The elevator stopped again and wet guy who had placed his still wet glasses back on his nose left the elevator, bowing ever so slightly at Sho and giving him a soft smile that made him want to stop the man and ask for his number and his name. 

His coffee remained undrunk and Sho sighed. The sight of just one guy should not disturb him that much. He had to focus on the task at hand and maybe start listening to Aiba, who had been talking to him for the last few minutes.

"Sho-chan!“ Sho turned around and finally shot him an apologetic smile. "What happened to you? That look... did you meet someone? Don’t tell me it’s one of the new girls!“ Aiba jerked his head into the direction of the new employees who had huddled into a corner of the room but kept staring in their direction.

In exasperation, Sho shook his head. "It’s nothing. Just Monday, missing the weekend, you know...“ With a heavy sigh, he got up and walked over to the kitchen, emptied the cold coffee in the sink and poured himself a glass of water. He hadn’t even talked to the guy and was unlikely to ever see him again.

It was only that the picture of his face framed by wet hair had stayed etched into his retina, barely allowing him to see anything else. Maybe this was the so-called love at first sight. And maybe he should start working if he didn’t want to waste another hour of his day.

It was around midday when Sho had just got out his bento box from the convenience store that the door to their shared office opened and a person from HR lead a bunch of new employees into the big room. Between them Sho could make out Nintendo guy and- he froze- wet guy. Wet guy was still- well... wet. He looked like he had tried to fix his hair and was not wearing his jacket now, presenting Sho with an equally wet shirt clinging to his well-toned frame. 

"So, this is one of our big shared offices. This is Sakurai-kun, one of our best employees.“ The HR person explained and Sho felt heat creeping up his cheeks as everyone looked at him. He returned his eyes to his bento box and tried to ignore how close the group was standing to him. It was only when he looked back up again that he noticed wet guy shivering. 

"Ok, we’ll end our tour here and I ask you all to return to your assigned desks at 2 o‘clock.“

Great. Sho groaned. He really didn’t feel like talking to any of the newbies- well, except one. Another shiver from his peripheral vision made Sho jump up and before he knew what he was doing he had grabbed wet guy‘s arm. 

"Wait! You’re cold, aren’t you?" Wet guy stared at him bewildered but nodded. "I’ve got a spare shirt you can borrow, wait a minute."

He opened one of the drawers of his desk where he always kept a spare shirt in case he ended up falling asleep at his desk and not making it home. "Here you go! Just bring it back tomorrow."

Wet guy still looked a bit wary but took the shirt. And then he smiled. It was probably the most beautiful smile Sho had ever seen. It lit up his face and Sho immediately felt his chest clench at the sight.

"How did you get that wet in first place?" He asked and returned the smile. Wet guy, who had still not introduced himself, shrugged.

"I forgot both my wallet with my IC card and my umbrella at home and I was late so I had to run. And then a truck ran through a big puddle next to me and basically showered me." Sho nodded and gestured towards the shirt he had just handed wet guy. "Maybe you should get changed. You’re still cold, aren’t you?" Wet guy nodded and averted his gaze. Looking shy suited him, Sho thought.

"Thank you. I’ll get it cleaned afterwards and bring it back." He lifted the shirt, gave Sho another smile that did not quite reach his eyes this time and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Sho had jumped back to his feet. This time he had to take his chance. "What’s your name?" Wet guy looked a bit guilty but then bowed in front of him. "Matsumoto. I’m pleased to meet you, Sakurai-san. Please keep me in your favour." 

  
  


"I knew it!" Aiba pounced at him. "So that guy‘s the reason for your dreamy face this morning!"

Sho groaned. He had completely forgotten about his co-workers as he handed wet guy- Matsumoto- his shirt. "It’s nothing. I don’t even know him! But he looked cold and I’m a nice person..." Without being able to stop it, Sho felt heat creep up his cheeks and returned his gaze to the still unfinished bento. Well, it tasted like crap anyway. 


	2. Tuesday, Wednesday

Chapter 2: Tuesday, Wednesday

The doors of the elevator opened and Sho momentarily lifted his head, pocketing his smartphone. His evening had been quite boring. Matsumoto proved to be a very common name and his drunk attempts at stalking him on Twitter and Instagram had ended in vain. So Sho had ended up going to sleep at an almost reasonable hour and the slight hangover only surfaced when the noises around him got a bit too much. For this reason, he had chosen to put his earphones in while not plugging them into his phone. In the past, he had found wearing earphones without listing to music was a very good way to listen in on private conversations while not being talked to and that was probably the most interesting part of his day. During university, studying for what he thought was his dream job, he had never expected this dull every day life. Lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice Aiba until he silently touched his arm. He gestured to his ears and Sho pulled out one earphone.

  
"Your earphones are unplugged." Aiba's expression was way too smug and Sho froze. He was right- the earphone plug was freely hanging in front of his chest. Someone in the corner of the elevator snickered and Sho recognized Nintendo-guy. And true enough- next to Nintendo-guy was the subject of his daydreaming.  
"Matsumoto-san." Hastily Sho pulled out the other earphone and smiled at the other man, completely ignoring Aiba. Matsumoto actually blushed and averted his gaze. He seemingly took a bit longer to warm up to other people.  
"Sakurai-san." The blush suited him and Sho once again found his thoughts wandering, imagining the blush spreading. Only when Matsumoto continued talking he was pulled back into reality.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite manage to get your shirt cleaned, I'll bring it tomorrow!" Conveniently enough, the elevator stopped and both Matsumoto and Nintendo-guy- his nametag read Ninomiya- got out of it before Sho could even answer. He just stared at the closing doors, also forgetting about Aiba, who was staring at him when he looked up.  
"You're an idiot, Sho-chan." Aiba elbowed him in his side and he flinched.  
"He's probably straight anyways," Sho replied and sighed.  
"So you do admit it!" Aiba beamed. "He's totally your type!"  
For the last year, Aiba had introduced him to various girls that worked in the company, trying to fix Sho's relationship status even though he wasn't dating anyone either. It had only been after a few beers with a bunch of cute co-workers that Sho had confronted Aiba and laid it out to him why he wouldn't date a girl. Instead of being disgusted and backing off, as Sho had experienced it countless times before, ever since then Aiba had started pointing out seemingly cute guys in a range from absolutely terrifying to absolutely terrific, not that Sho would ever tell him. He usually just told him that guy x (whoever Aiba introduced him to) wasn't his type. But now Aiba had hit the nail on the head, a detail he was not quite ready to share yet.  
"I'll be cheering on you!" Aiba dropped an arm over his shoulders and kept clinging to him like this until they reached their office.

It was around noon that Sho got to know how advanced Aiba's stalking abilities were. He had just finished his latest assignment and had leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head to loosen the stiff muscles when his email pinged. Noticing the sender, he peered over the edge of his monitor and caught Aiba's eye, who tried to wink at him and failed. The subject of the mail read "Your type" and contained Matsumoto's profile from their intranet as well as a link to his Twitter. Sho had no idea how Aiba had got all the information and in how much trouble he'd get into if anyone found out about his minor hacking of personal information data bases.  
Apparently, Matsumoto's first name was Jun and he was two years younger than Sho. Born and raised in Tokyo, graduated from a small private university and had limited work experience. His personal Twitter mostly contained pictures of famous places around the world, but mostly in Tokyo, and retweets of impressive music videos, not a single selfie and Sho sighed.

"Like what you see?" He hadn't even noticed Aiba sneaking up behind him. Out of reflex he had closed the Internet window and now Aiba's mail had once again popped up on his screen. He really ought to be more careful not to get caught stalking his co-workers during working hours.  
"Seriously, I don't even know the guy!" Sho hissed, getting up and pulling Aiba with him until they found a quiet and private corner in the kitchen.  
"But you fancy him!" If he hadn't known him for some time Sho would have filed Aiba's expression under "creepy".  
"Admittedly, he's cute." Sho couldn't help but smile and looked away, avoiding Aiba's stare. "But." Sho took a big breath before continuing as if to gather courage to face the truth. "As I said before, he is probably straight."  
"You never know." Aiba shrugged. "Should I ask him for you?"  
"No!" Pushing himself up from the counter he had leaned against, Sho grabbed Aiba's arm as if he needed to stop him right there and now.  
"Fine." Aiba had the audacity to scoff. "How about you get to know him, then?"  
Even though it was not Aiba's worst idea, Sho had no idea what to do. After all, he had only met Matsumoto the day before and they worked on different floors.

The thought kept him distracted for the rest of the day, but contrary to Aiba's suggestions he didn't try to find Matsumoto's desk to ask him something or find another excuse to talk to him.  
"Well, at least he still has your shirt." Aiba offered on their way down in the elevator while he eyed Sho who was frowning unhappily.

\------------

Silently, Sho cursed the guy who had thought throwing himself in front of a train during Tokyo's rush hour had been the best way to end his miserable life. He was late for work and still stuck somewhere between Shibuya and Shinjuku. Being late per se didn't matter as he had no important meetings scheduled for the day, but he had been hoping to meet Matsumoto again. With a silent sigh Sho turned his attention to his phone that had started buzzing.  
"Yes? It's Sakurai."  
"Sho-chan! Where are you?" Of course it was Aiba, why had he even hoped for someone different? Sho looked over the head of the guy that was sandwiched between him and the door and stared at the grey sky for a second before answering.  
"Some idiot thought the best way to die was in front of the Yamanote-sen. I'm stuck on the tracks."  
"Ah..." Aiba tsked and Sho could almost see him shake his head. "That's bad luck. I hope they get the train running again soon."  
Aiba sounded as if he were to say goodbye now, but before Sho could cut the line he added: "Your lovely newbie was here just minutes ago. He left you your shirt, a note and a bento box that smells amazing. Can I try it?"  
"No!" Sho almost shouted and a few salary men turned around to see who was causing the ruckus. Trying to act as if nothing had happened, Sho covered his mouth with a hand and whispered. "Don't touch it!"  
Aiba laughed. "I wouldn't dare. Should I read you the note?"  
Sho snorted. He could not believe that guy. Why would he even try to read private notes? He was used to Aiba's curiosity and it did come in handy sometimes when he wanted to hear the latest rumours, but this was nothing that should end up as company talk and everyone knew how bad Aiba was at keeping secrets. Sho still wondered why people would tell him almost everything when they knew that soon enough the entire department would hear about it, too.  
Still, he had ended up becoming friends with the guy. With a sigh he answered: "You have already read it, right?"  
Aiba's laugh was answer enough.

It took him an additional 30 minutes before he reached their company building. The elevator on the way up felt oddly lonely even though it had only been three days since he had first seen Matsumoto. It was unlike him to develop such a strong crush, but here he was, daydreaming and too late to work (though that was hardly his fault). He dropped his bag besides his desk and shrugged off the warm jacket he had been wearing.  
The smell of the bento was indeed amazing and it looked even better. A classic box covered with a purple cloth that had been tied neatly into a nice bow sat on top of his shirt. A small note was tucked under one side of the bow and carefully Sho unfolded it.

Sakurai-san,

I am very thankful for your lending me your spare shirt. Please accept this bento as a token of my gratitude. I hope it is to your liking.

Matsumoto

Sho couldn't help but smile at the kind note, silently thanking Matsumoto for the meal, and untied the bow to take a glimpse at the contents of the box. It was a simple box made from black plastic and consisting of two tiers. The bottom was filled with white rice garnished with furikake with a single umeboshi on top it. The second tier showed a wide selection of seafood such as octopus rings and fried shrimps, neatly arranged and separated by small cupcake liners. Sho even spotted some clams still in their shell and couldn't help but pick a single one out to try. It was probably the most delicious thing he had ever eaten and before he could stop himself he made a small squealing noise. As if he had been waiting for it, Aiba leaned back and peered over his screen, grinning at Sho.  
"This is amazing!" Sho mouthed, but carefully placed the lid back on the box and retied the bow. He then guardedly carried the box to the fridge in the corner of the staff room and returned to his desk to start his daily work.  
He spent the entire morning thinking about the delicious food waiting for him and couldn't help but finish work almost 15 minutes earlier than normal to turn his full attention to the bento.

"Stop it!" With his chopsticks still in hand, Sho slapped Aiba's hand, which had been trying to steal some of Sho's food. "Find your own kouhai to make you food!" He stuffed another piece of shellfish into his mouth, cheeks already bulging, and hummed at the exquisite flavour. He might not know much about Matsumoto, but he was really good at cooking.  
"Maybe his girlfriend made this for you." Aiba suggested and used the moment as Sho froze in shock to grab a shrimp.  
"Seriously, you should see your face!" He laughed and pointed his chopsticks at Sho, who had not moved yet, just stared blankly at the lunch box in front of him. But when he didn't move again, Aiba hurried to correct himself. "According to Nino, Matsujun doesn't have a girlfriend." It took Sho a moment to understand what Aiba had just explained. To him it was Matsumoto and Ninomiya, so the sudden use of nicknames came as a surprise. It was not something entirely unexpected of Aiba that he already knew them well enough to use nicknames, but it still came with a bitter taste of jealousy to Sho.  
"I asked Nino when he and Matsujun came by earlier to drop this off." Aiba explained and made Sho wonder if he really was that easy to read. "You know- before I push you in that direction, I had to make sure that you don't get hurt."

  
Aiba beamed at him and Sho couldn't help but smile back, lifting his arm that had been guarding the food and allowing Aiba to take another shrimp. "And Matsujun said, he made this himself." Aiba added helpfully around a mouth full of shrimp.  
Sho returned his gaze to the bento and before his inner eye he could see Matsumoto wearing an apron and staring at the lunch box, carefully arranging the food, completely concentrated on the task. Aiba's giggle snapped him from his thoughts and he stared at the food, blushing.  
"I'm cheering for you, Sho-chan!"

That evening Sho made sure to thoroughly wash the box and rewrap it. He could thank Matsumoto by inviting him out for a drink. That sounded like a good idea!


	3. Thursday, Friday

Chapter 3: Thursday, Friday

His chance to return the box and ask Matsumoto out didn't come as fast as he thought it might. When he met Ninomiya in the elevator in the morning, he was alone. Before he could even ask, the younger man spoke, not raising his gaze from the Nintendo once. "Jun-kun is sick. Nothing serious, but he won't be here for the rest of the week." Instantly Sho felt worry wash over him. What if Matsumoto was too weak to care for himself? Was he at home all alone? And somehow the thought of someone caring for Matsumoto wasn't better. Ninomiya seemed to have sensed his worries answered his unsaid question. "He is fine. It's not something uncommon. He has a migraine."

With that he returned his gaze to the Nintendo and when he got off Sho just managed to shout, "Tell him to get well soon!" through the closing doors. 

"What swam through your coffee this morning?" Aiba greeted him. To Sho it was still a miracle how he always managed to get to work first as he was not the most diligent employee. "Matsumoto is sick." Sho grumbled. His thoughts didn't stop revolving around the mental image of an ill Matsumoto lying in bed weakly, no one caring for him.

"I know." Aiba smiled softly. "Nino told me." He readjusted his weight on the office chair and leaned over so he could look Sho in the eye. "You worry too much. Nino said that Matsujun often gets migraines around this time of the year."

So it was something they were used to, though April was hardly the month to get sick. The weather was starting to look up and there had not been any major changes in air pressure for the last weeks. Still, why would he care that much for a guy he knew nothing about? He knew that Matsumoto was a great cook, he was handsome, actually quite shy and apparently prone to migraines. And that was about what he knew. Why couldn't he get him out of his head?

It was around midday that Aiba passed him a piece of paper with a row of numbers scribbled onto it. Sho raised his eyebrows in question. He had a vague idea of what Aiba was implying, but wanted to make sure before he did anything stupid.

"That's Matsujun's number." Aiba gave him a thumbs-up and smiled as if he had just accomplished something big. "Nino gave it to me, I thought you might want it."

"Thanks!" Sho pocketed the piece of paper and returned his attention to the report he was working on.

When he got home that evening, he remembered Matsumoto. When Aiba passed him the number he had been too focussed on his work, so now he was not quite sure where he had put it. The pockets of his pants were empty and after experiencing a bout of panic he managed to locate the piece of paper in his blazer pocket. Punching in the numbers, Sho contemplated calling Matsumoto, but he wasn't quite sure what to say, so in the end he saved the number and texted him.

_Good evening,_

_This is Sakurai Sho from work. Ninomiya-kun passed me your number, I'm sorry for the intrusion. I hope you feel better soon. I wanted to thank you for the delicious meal in person._

_All the best,_

_Sakurai Sho_

Before he could overthink it, Sho pressed send and turned off his phone. Better not get his hopes up and if he was honest- he was a bit afraid. After all Matsumoto might think he was stalking him. And although he was interested, making someone believe they liked them a bit too much was never a good idea. And Sho wanted to stop himself from checking his phone every twenty seconds in hope of an answer. He finally settled on taking a nice long bath and ended up falling asleep in the bathtub.

When he turned his phone back on, there was nothing. No reply, no reaction.

It was the next morning when he finally got a reply. Sho had just gotten on the train when his phone binged and a notification popped up, showing Matsumoto's name.

_Sakurai-san,_

_Good morning. I'm sorry for not answering your text earlier. I had a bad migraine and couldn't look at my phone. I'm fine now, but will rest another day. No need to thank me in person, I hope you enjoyed the food._

_Best wishes,_

_Matsumoto Jun_

Hurriedly he typed out a reply.

_I'm glad you're feeling better. Rest well today. Let me invite you for a drink soon, so I can return your lunchbox and repay you for the meal. The food was delicious!_

This time Matsumoto was quicker to answer and Sho guessed he was still on his phone, replying to all the texts he had gotten during his involuntary abstinence from social media.

_That's really not necessary, I enjoy cooking and thought you might enjoy the food. If you insist, I'm free this weekend._

Life was treating him well, Sho mused as he typed out his reply and invited Matsumoto to his favourite izakaya for the Saturday evening. That would give him another day to rest and Sho some time to think about where he was going with this. He was usually not the one to move quite as fast, but somehow Matsumoto had piqued his interest and even thinking about him made Sho's heartbeat quicken. He had not been in a relationship for the past five years and had not really given it so much as a thought (Aiba clearly cared more about his relationship status than he did), but now he felt like he was running out of time and he had just met the guy on Monday. Sho couldn't explain his attraction, but he had been stricken since the day wet guy had raised his head and shown him the most beautiful face. Maybe Matsumoto was a psychopath, maybe he was not even gay (most likely), maybe he was already annoyed with Sho, maybe he had weird eating habits, maybe he snored. And still, Sho wanted to get to know him, to crush each and every assumption he could make and prove to himself that Matsumoto was the guy he had been dreaming about ever since he found out he was gay. It was utopic, it was stupid, he knew he'd get hurt, but here he was, already planning his life with a guy he had barely met.


	4. Saturday

Chapter 4: Saturday

"Is that the mighty Sakurai Sho demanding my help?" Aiba purred through the phone as Sho groaned. He had spent the entire morning trying to decide on an outfit for the night, but although he liked it quite a lot, he didn't think Matsumoto was going to appreciate his wardrobe leaning heavily on the camo-side.

"Please, Aiba-chan, I have no idea what to wear!" He looked at the pile of clothes in front of his closet and timidly touched it with a foot. Be yourself was a good advice, but he felt like Matsumoto deserved more and might like him better if he also looked nice.

"I'll meet you in half an hour in front of Lumine 2." Aiba replied and, before Sho could protest, ended the call.

In the end, Sho followed Aiba's instructions and soon enough waited in front of the main entrance, hoping Aiba was not waiting at one of the other 12 (or so) entrances. It turned out Aiba was just late. Apparently 30 minutes had also been too short of a notice for himself and Sho had settled on a bench inside the building, playing with his phone. For the night, he had chosen his favourite izakaya and hoped Matsumoto would agree with it. It was a small pub that served a collection of craft beer and whiskey and it was quite homey, not as popular as some other places, but still incredibly good, though a bit outdated. A notification popped up on his screen and Sho opened the message from an unknown number.

_Sakurai-san,_

_Be nice to Jun-kun tonight, he's a good guy._

_Ninomiya_

So, Matsumoto was a good guy and Ninomiya was a bit overprotective, even going so far as to get his number only to warn him to be nice to Matsumoto. Sho laughed silently and shook his head, pocketing the phone again. Aiba chose exactly that moment to show up, looking a bit ruffled as if he had run all the way from the station, which Sho suspected he had. He raised a hand in greeting and gestured Sho to get up. "Let's get you dressed!" He beamed and Sho couldn't help but wonder if Aiba had waited for this opportunity for some time. Aiba led him trough a few shops until he found one he liked and started piling clothes on Sho's waiting arms. Sho didn't even try to argue. He knew he was not the most fashionable individual in Tokyo and Aiba seemed to know what he was doing. Right now,he was holding up a t-shirt to check the collar against Sho's neck, then shook his head and put it back on the hanger. A busy shopkeeper showed them to the dressing room and instructed Sho to take his shoes off before he disappeared again.

"Start with this!" Aiba handed him a white shirt and a cardigan, then let his eyes wander over Sho's body and also handed him a pair of black jeans.

Obediently, Sho took off his shoes and closed the curtain behind him to start undressing. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he stopped momentarily. Here he was, only wearing underwear and socks, the small hole in his belly button still visible if one knew about the piercing, but slowly starting to look like a salary man. Though he hit the gym quite frequently, he could tell that he was not quite as slim as he had been in his teens. He was 27, barely old enough to count as a proper adult, living a simple life, steady job, going home at five, sometimes out for drinks, working out regularly, spending his weekends catching up on work, sleep and his readings, nothing special, nothing exciting, nothing new. He was getting old at a young age. With a sigh, he picked up the jeans Aiba had chosen for him.

"Hey, you still alive in there?" Aiba asked from outside of the curtain and Sho nodded in reply, only to add a "Yes!" as he realized Aiba couldn't see him.

"Well, hurry, old man." Sho winced. It was as if Aiba had read his thoughts, though Aiba was only a year younger than him.

He pulled the t-shirt over his head and opened the curtain with one hand while he picked up the cardigan with the other.

"Look at that!" Aiba laughed after about 15 discarded outfits (though Sho chose to keep the first t-shirt, he had quite liked it) and pointed at the mirror. Turning around Sho had to admit that he did look nice and not as old as he had felt just moments ago. He was wearing a nice pair of black jeans and a dark red sweatshirt, nothing very exciting, but it made him look good.

"Matsumoto is in for some seriously nice views." Sho huffed and pulled the curtains of the dressing room close to cover the gap through which Aiba had been watching him. 

He reached the izakaya about 10 minutes early and had just readied himself for the wait when someone called him.

"Perfect timing!" He grinned at Matsumoto who hurried towards him, coming from the same direction. They must have been on the same train, he mused.

"Good evening, Matsumoto-san." He bowed his head slightly and smiled while Matsumoto readjusted his glasses and took off his hat. Sho held open the door of the izakaya and they entered together. A young waiter led them over to a table in the corner. He was new here, Sho thought, but maybe he had not been at this izakaya for some time. He ordered two beers and they settled down.

"Are you feeling better?" Sho asked worriedly, eying the dark bags under Matsumoto's eyes. He didn't look like he had slept enough.

"I've been better, but I've also felt worse." Matsumoto answered in honest and carefully leaned his weight on the elbow he had rested on the table. "How about you?"

Sho smiled and couldn't help but wonder if the entire evening was going to be this awkward. Maybe the alcohol was going to help.

"I'm fine. Just living the boring office life." Sho answered. "How was your first week at the company?" It felt like an interview and Sho hated the feeling. He was quite sure Matsumoto was not enjoying himself. Why had he ever thought this was a good idea? Matsumoto shrugged. "It's a nice company and I like the team. I feel bad that I already missed two out of five days. I wanted to come in, but almost passed out on my way to the door so I decided not to risk it."

A pink tinge had started to manifest on his cheeks, hinting at the level of discomfort he felt about having missed so much work. Sho couldn't help but worry. Sure, Matsumoto said he was fine, but he was still pale and the fluffy, light pink, sweater he was wearing did nothing to make him look stronger.

"Seriously, don't overdo it!" Sho insisted and without thinking grabbed Matsumoto's hand that was resting on the table. He pulled away immediately when Matsumoto flinched, but the damage had been done. Awkwardly, they both stared at their laps before Sho decided to try again.

"Are you living in the company apartments right now?" He asked, remembering his time in the one room apartment the company had provided him with for his first years. Matsumoto shook his head. "I've got my own place. I studied in Tokyo, so I didn't need to find anywhere else."

Before it could get any worse their beer arrived and Sho lifted the glass. "Kanpai."

The clinked their glasses against each other and drank.

"Oh, before I forget it!" Sho bent down and tried to pick up his bag with Matsumoto's bento box. It had slid out of his reach and he had to stretch down, bumping his hip against the table and within a second it dawned on him that something was about to go very wrong. The next moment he heard a loud crash and seconds later something wet ran over his lower back.

"Oh, shit!" Out of reflex Sho tried to straighten his back, bumped against the table once more and another crash indicated Matsumoto's beer also going down. Well, at least he was going to be Matsumoto's 'Worst first date' story,Sho mused as he crawled out from below the table. He was about to apologize when he saw Matsumoto's face. The younger man was positively gasping for air, holding his waist and had tears in his eyes.

It took Sho an excruciating two seconds to realize that Matsumoto was laughing. Looking down at the mess he started laughing, too, and raised his hand. "Waiter, two more beers and a rag please!"

He cleaned his hands on his beer-soaked jeans and once again gazed at Matsumoto. Between two bouts of laughter he managed an "I understand what Aiba-san was warning me about" before he burst out in giggles again.

Sho froze. "Aiba warned you about me?" He asked in disbelief. Of course Aiba was meddling with his love life, but he had never thought he'd go that far.

But Matsumoto shook his head. "He warned Nino after he gave him my contact details to pass on to you." He blushed and hid his face in the newly arrived beer. It took Sho a few seconds to sort through what Matsumoto had just said. Apparently Ninomiya was also trying to get Matsumoto laid.

Sho's phone buzzed and he glanced at it, shaking his head. Aiba had just sent him the emoticon with the wiggly eyebrows. Speaking of meddlesome friends.

Matsumoto raised an eyebrow and Sho shook his head. "Aiba." He said as if that explained everything. He had not quite expected Matsumoto to start grinning in a mischievous way.

"You know that he and Nino met tonight?"

Sho didn't know about that, but it somehow made sense. He just wondered how those two had managed to join forces that fast. But with Aiba nothing was unexpected. Think of something absurd and Aiba was probably going to do it.

"This could be our chance to mess with them." Matsumoto's grin widened and Sho felt blood rush to his head. So he was not only hot, but also a bit sadistic.

"What do you suggest?" He asked.

Matsumoto didn't answer, but the deep red blush on his cheeks said enough for Sho to understand. Well, Aiba was expecting him to marry Matsumoto on the spot, so it was kind of hard to think of anything to mess with his head without destroying his own chances.

They stayed silent for some time, until Matsumoto suggested. "We could get some girls to take a photo with us and send it to them, captioned 'Best double date ever!'" He shrugged. "Nino is kinda hard to mess with, he knows me too well."

Their excitement had ebbed away and instead of thinking of other ways to mess with their friends, Sho ordered two glasses of Whiskey.

In the end, Sho did have to call Ninomiya. Matsumoto was completely wiped out, but insisted that he was fine.

"Do you mind telling me your address?" Sho asked while they waited for a taxi.

"I'm fine! I don't need a taxi. I want another beer!" Matsumoto was slurring his words and Sho shared a gaze with the bartender, both agreeing that another beer would be a bad idea.

He did not want to tell Sho his address and after a few futile attempts Sho called Aiba, who passed the phone to Ninomiya. Meanwhile, Matsumoto had fallen asleep on the table and Sho carefully carried the empty glasses over to the counter.

He looked quite peaceful in his sleep, long eyelashes resting on his pale cheeks. His hair looked very soft and before Sho could stop himself he had started caressing Matsumoto's head. Maybe the alcohol was also getting to him.

That was how Ninomiya found them 15 minutes later.

"Shall we get going then?" He asked without a greeting and crouched down next to Matsumoto. "J, time to get up. Let's get you home."

His snarky attitude changed completely when he talked to Matsumoto who yawned and - after taking a glance at Ninomiya- closed his eyes again and readjusted his head, which was resting on his crossed arms on the table.

Ninomiya waved at Sho and together they lifted Matsumoto and placed him on his feet. Ninomiya was a few centimetres smaller than Matsumoto and fit snuggly under his shoulder while Sho unbalanced him quite a bit when he tried to place Matsumoto's arm on his sloping shoulders. Thankfully, Matsumoto didn't seem to notice. They half-carried Matsumoto to the car parked in front of the izakaya and placed him on the backseat where he collapsed across the entire bench and started snoring softly.

Ninomiya made sure he was comfortable before he closed the door and turned around to face Sho.

"Thanks for taking care of him tonight. It's been a while since he last went out and J was never good with alcohol. Can I give you a lift?"

Gratefully, Sho accepted. He had a bit of thinking to do.


	5. Week 2

Chapter 5: Week 2 

A soft pulsing sensation behind his temples reminded Sho of the last evening. His entire body hurt and it took him a few seconds to realize that he had fallen asleep on the sofa after Ninomiya had dropped him off. Matsumoto had still been asleep on the backseat when he got off and Sho couldn't help but wonder what the relationship between those two was.

The evening had been nice, but if he was honest, he had had better dates. Of course, Matsumoto had been nice to look at and the awkwardness had ebbed away after a few beers, but he hadn't seemed like he had really been into it. He had answered Sho's questions and had happily listened to Sho bitching about his mother, but he had never offered anything to talk about. The entire time it had been Sho who had led their conversation. He had talked about sports, his family, the company, the best-of-Aiba's (coming into work in a Christmas sweater in April) and only thinking back he realized that Matsumoto had not told him anything about his private life.

This was the time he should have given up on his illusions, but after spending the entire Sunday thinking about Matsumoto, Sho had to admit it had not put him off the way it should have. He wanted to know more and here he was, getting out his phone and hitting send before he could think of anything else.

_Matsumoto-san,_

_I hope you got home ok and don't feel the alcohol that much. I really enjoyed our date yesterday. Please keep me in your favour._

_Sakurai Sho_

Putting the label date on it made it look very real and Sho spent the rest of the day stressing over his message until, finally, his phone pinged.

A text... from Aiba.

_According to Nino you had fun yesterday. I hope Matsumoto survived his night of drinking. Did you get your move on? How was it?_

Sho chose not to answer him. But before he could put his phone away another notification popped up, a text, this time from Ninomiya.

_Sakurai-san,_

_I take it you enjoyed yesterday. J told me to thank you; he is currently busy hugging the toilet bowl. Don't tell him I told you that, he can get quite upset. Please don't take him drinking for your next date. He likes classical concerts._

_Ninomiya_

It was almost as if Ninomiya was Matsumoto's nanny or secretary or... even though Aiba had told him he wasn't and Ninomiya's actions indicated that he wasn't... his boyfriend. Still, Ninomiya had told him that Matsumoto had enjoyed their date and for now that was enough. Sho felt a warm sensation spread through his body and opened his laptop, trying to find out when the next classical concert was taking place. After some time his laptop's battery had drained, so he went to search for the charging cable. It was only then that he noticed the bento box still sitting contently in his bag. Sho sighed. At least he had an excuse to talk to Matsumoto again.

The elevator door was already closing when Matsumoto jumped in the next morning. He was breathing heavily as if he had just run a long distance. Leaning forward, he placed his hands on his knees before drawing a deep breath and finally looked up. Sho smiled gently. "Good morning. How are you today?"

Matsumoto leaned back against the elevator wall and smiled. "I'm already late, but fine. I'm sorry for not answering your text." He immediately apologized. "I was a bit hungover."

Well, at least he was being honest. And he had remembered. "It's fine."  
"Can I make it up to you?"

This was his chance, he had invested a lot of time and money into this. Now he just had to act as if he hadn't planned a thing. "It's fine, no worries." Sho looked away and only spared a short glance to see how Matsumoto was reacting. He had adverted his gaze and was staring at his shoes, not sure what to answer and Sho started feeling bad for letting him swim like this.

"On second thought, my parents gifted me two tickets for the Tchaikovsky concert in Suntory hall this weekend,and since I'm currently single I need someone to go with me." It was not true, his parents didn't even know about his newest love for classical music. Mentioning that he was single had been not really necessary, but he hoped it might help his cause. He was really helpless.

Matsumoto had started smiling widely. "I'd love to! I heard about the concert, but the tickets were sold out before I could get one."

Thank God for the black market, Sho thought. He had found two quite expensive tickets online and was relieved that he could actually use them.

"I'll text you the details then." He answered before Matsumoto got off. He couldn't help but pump his fist after the doors had closed behind him. It had all gone better than expected. Not only was Matsumoto joining him, it was also a concert he had wanted to go to. Sho was really proud of his instincts.

The elevator ride down on Friday was painfully slow. Sho was ready for this weekend and seeing Matsumoto and maybe he would even enjoy the concert. Unfortunately, other people must have had the same thoughts about the approaching weekend and the elevator bringing him down to freedom was stopping on every single floor. It didn't matter that it was already packed in there, people were trying to squeeze in no matter the cost. When the electronic voice announced Matsumoto's floor, Sho looked up. He was squished against the smudged mirror, the elbow of a smaller guy lodged somewhere in between him and the wall, pressing on his kidney. He could make out a line of people waiting, among them a familiar face, but before he could raise his hand to wave at Matsumoto the elevator doors closed again. He apparently had to wait until the weekend to talk to him or... Sho stopped dead in his tracks and someone ran into him, dropping their phone in the process. He apologized and stepped to the side, leaning against a wall and waited. They could walk to the station together. He smiled. Why had he not thought about this earlier? When Matsumoto stumbled out of the elevator a few minutes late, Sho was ready.

"Thanks for your hard work today!" He greeted and fell into pace with Matsumoto who looked a bit startled, but smiled at him. "And to you." He added and averted his gaze.

This time it was Matsumoto who first broke the silence. "I'm looking forward to the concert on Sunday!" He beamed at Sho and Sho once again congratulated himself for his instincts for choosing a concert Matsumoto was going to enjoy.

"Me too." Sho smiled. "Are you up for a drink tonight?" He added, hoping that Matsumoto had the time, but the younger man shook his head, smiling apologetically. "I promised my parents to come home for dinner tonight. Next time?"

Sho laughed and before he could stop himself he rested a hand on Matsumoto's head, messing up his hair in the process. "It's fine. Enjoy the evening."

He ended up using his evening and most of Saturday for reading up on Tchaikovsky, hoping to impress Matsumoto with his knowledge.

Only later, when he was lying in bed, it struck him how hard he was falling for Matsumoto. He felt like a teenager again, or worse, he had never had experienced that kind of emotions before.

In the morning he texted Aiba, slowly starting to freak out.

_What do you wear to a classical concert?_

_Sho-chan, it's six o'clock on a Sunday. What's wrong with you?_

_Sorry, just put your phone on silent mode! So?_

_Just stick with your business outfit. And go back to sleep!_

Following Aiba's advice, Sho stuck with his nicest blazer- the one with the shoulder pads, that covered up his sloping shoulders. They were to meet up in front of Suntory hall at 16:30 and he hoped Matsumoto would like to get some food afterwards. It was nothing special, but he knew an amazing soba shop close by.

As usual, the sight of Matsumoto was something to behold. He was not wearing his glasses and looked ever so stunning without them. The shy smile he was wearing complemented the look and Sho had to force himself to keep his mouth closed before he started drooling.

"Good evening, Sakurai-san." Matsumoto bowed slightly and Sho just hoped he would stop the formal behaviour once they got to know each other better.

"Good evening, Matsumoto-kun." He smiled and offered Matsumoto his arm, which the younger man took, blushing. "Shall we go then?"

At least Aiba had been right about the dress code. Every one was wearing formal eveningwear and Sho was glad that he was not standing out. The tickets he had bought on the black market worked, luckily, and soon enough they were standing on the steps leading down to their seats. According to the research he had done the previous day,they had been lucky to get seats right in front of the orchestra. The room was illuminated by a warm yellow light and Sho could hear the muffled conversations of excited concertgoers all around him. The room was echoing with the voices of the audience- probably good for listening to music, but he hadn't really planned on eavesdropping on the discussion of the couple five rows in front of them about what to eat for dinner. Soon enough, everyone settled down and except for the occasional cough the room quieted down. When the orchestra started tuning, Sho sneaked a glance at Matsumoto, who was completely entranced with only these small preparations. He was leaning forward in his seat, his hands on his knees, knuckles slowly turning white. With a suppressed laugh Sho grabbed his hand and guided him to lean back. He mouthed the words "Relax! Enjoy!" and Matsumoto smiled at him with a shy flutter of his eyelids. Sho's heart skipped a beat when Matsumoto tightened the grip on his hand and during the first piece Sho felt bold enough to slowly interlace their fingers, running his thumb over Matsumoto's in a slow motion.

Sho was starting to understand Matsumoto's love for classical music- the sensation of their enlaced fingers, the dim light and the magnificent orchestra completely made him forget that something like time existed and he could have stayed like this forever.

Sadly, the first half ended too soon and blinking at the sudden bright light, Sho slowly sat back up again. Matsumoto freed his hand and looked at Sho in a way he had never expected. It was only his decorum that kept him from kissing Matsumoto right there and then. Instead Matsumoto took his hand again and squeezed it as if to reassure him that he was felling the spark, too.

"This was amazing!" Sho whispered while all around them people got up to go to the bathroom or stretch their legs. He felt like he was waking from a very realistic dream and couldn't wait for the music to commence.

"I know!" Matsumoto replied, eyes sparkling with delight. This was the most brilliant smile Sho had ever seen on him and it made all the stage lights seem dim. He had not let go of Matsumoto's hand and squeezed it again.

When the applause had ended, Sho couldn't wait any longer. The other concertgoers were slowly making their way to the cloakroom, but Sho grabbed Matsumoto's hand, pulling him along to the toilets and when the door had finally closed behind them he turned Matsumoto around so that his back came to rest against the still unlocked cubicle door he kissed him with vigour. At first Matsumoto didn't react, seemed stunned and went stiff, then his mouth opened a bit, he let out a small sigh against Sho's lips and then returned the kiss, allowing Sho to pull him closer.

Their first kiss left them both breathless and Sho had to amend his previous thought about Matsumoto's smile. This was clearly the most beautiful he had ever looked, his hair slightly dishevelled, a glassy look in his eyes, his mouth red from their kiss, slightly out of breath and glowing with a vitality Sho had never known.


	6. June

Chapter 6: June

While no one was paying attention to them, Sho grabbed Matsumoto's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. The doors of the elevator closed, bringing them back to daily life from a quiet weekend they had mostly spent in bed, ordering take out and making love.

They had originally planned on going to an open-air art exhibition, but rain had drowned their planes and left them holed up in Sho's apartment. It had not been the worst way to spend the weekend. Of course no one at work knew,except for Aiba and Ninomiya, so they had taken different ways to the building but ended up in the same elevator anyway. It was as if they had fated to be like this (or maybe Sho had dropped his phone to have an excuse to miss the previous elevator- who knew?). In the past weeks, they had slowly gotten to know each other. They spent most of their honeymoon phase in Sho's bed and after settling down a bit had started to visit new restaurants in the area or art exhibitions, the occasional classical concert. If Sho had had to describe bliss three months ago, he would not have chosen this kind of lifestyle, but now he loved it. Matsumoto had also started opening up to Sho, telling him embarrassing childhood stories- running in front of a car when trying to fetch his soccer ball, mistaking salt and sugar when baking a cake, getting thrown out of class for snoring.

Mostly their evenings were a pleasant mix of food, wine or beer, silent conversation and sometimes sex. They talked about work a few times, Matsumoto telling him about the challenges he had to face, not having any previous experience to rely on.

When they reached Matsumoto's floor, Sho reluctantly let go of his hand and with a short nod Matsumoto was gone.

Only minutes later his phone buzzed and presented him with a text.

_Your place at 7, I'll cook pasta._

Sho grinned and pocketed his phone after typing out a quick reply.

_I'm looking forward to it!_

They met again in front of Sho's apartment. Matsumoto was carrying two big bags containing all the ingredients he would need. Over the last month, Sho had gotten to taste Matsumoto's cooking a few times and it was always exquisite. Sho's biggest culinary accomplishment was being able to fry an egg, though it had been quite crunchy, so ever since starting university he had survived on conbini-food or takeout. Now he even sometimes had homemade rice balls for lunch and sometimes Matsumoto brought him even more food. It was true- the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Even if Sho would never admit it, he had gained two kilos since they started dating.

"What are you making today?" Sho asked while he unlocked the door, trying to steal a glimpse at the ingredients, but Matsumoto shied away and with a sheepish grin hid them against his chest.

"Something good." He snickered and pushed his way past Sho into the apartment. Before Sho could even follow, the door of his kitchen was closed in his face. He stood frozen, until it opened again. Matsumoto was wearing his apron and was guarding the kitchen carefully while he held out a hand containing a glass of white wine. "Watch some TV, I'll call you when I'm finished." He made sure that Sho was holding onto the glass properly before he shut the door again.

The smells from the kitchen made his mouth water, but Matsumoto clearly wanted to surprise him, so Sho stayed put, nursing his glass of wine and lazily flicking through the TV channels. He got stuck on an animal show and continued to watch reporters follow a bunch of whale sharks while the smells from the kitchen got even better.

Right when the whale shark was about to mate, the door he had been watching even closer opened and Matsumoto carried two steaming plates over to the table. He pulled the cutlery from the pocket of his apron, carefully arranging them and returned to fetch the wine. Curiously, Sho made his way to the table, slowly sitting down in front of one of the steaming plates.

"You made clam pasta!" Sho exclaimed and Matsumoto started laughing at his face beaming with delight.

"It's spaghetti alla vognole." He corrected him with a smile and sat down, slowly brushing out the creases of his apron. "I take it you like clams? I would have made them earlier had I known."

Sho didn't respond. He had picked up a single clam and was chewing with closed eyes. After swallowing he leaned across the table and grabbed Matsumoto's hand in a short bout of emotions close to overwhelming him. "Can I keep you?" He asked and Matsumoto started laughing. "I'm not going anywhere."

They finished the meal without further talking. Ever now and then Sho made a small squealing noise at the taste, enjoying the meal to the fullest. Matsumoto was watching him closely, smiling into his own bowl.

Later, when they were lying in Sho's bed, Matsumoto draped across his broad chest lazily, it was Matsumoto who spoke first.

"Why don't you call me Jun?" He asked, rubbing his cheek against the crook of Sho's neck. They were both exhausted and sweaty from their previous round of lovemaking, but neither seemed to mind.

"Jun..." Sho tried out in a lazy voice, tasting the sound on his tongue. "I think I'm in love with you."


	7. August

Chapter 7: August

It was only when Sho pushed open the door to Jun‘s office that he realized that he had never been here. He had not actually planned to go here, but since Jun hadn’t shown up to their daily lunch date he decided to pick him up. It didn’t strike him as odd that he had never seen Jun‘s desk, but still it was something new. He smiled, wondering how Jun would react. What if he had a porn collection Sho wasn’t supposed to know about, but first of all- by now he knew him too well and secondly, this was still work. A bored guy pointed him to Jun‘s desk and Sho noticed that Jun wasn’t there either. He decided to wait for him at his desk, he was probably just using the toilet. The bento bag was sitting on top of a few documents, indicating that Jun would be back soon. By now Sho knew the neatly tied purple bag Jun used. It had already been repaired a few times, but it had to be precious to him. He had gotten to know Jun as someone who was very peculiar about broken stuff, who would rather throw out broken items than attempting to fix them, but the bag had been repaired a few times. Sho eyed the other items scattered across the desk (or rather neatly arranged), a planner currently opened on the next week, a small etui containing a few pens, a big bottle of sparkling water and a picture frame. Before he could stop himself from snooping Sho had picked up the frame to take a look at the picture.

  
The time stood still for a second and then everything came rushing to him.

  
It was a nice, purple frame containing a single shot. Two people wearing festive clothes- or rather. A bride and a groom. They were beaming at the photographer, their hands tightly enlaced. She held a bouquet of purple lilies and white roses, he was wearing a black suit, one white rose plucked into the chest pocket. A sign above them stated the names and the date beneath an oversized lettering. „Happy wedding!“  
The clash of broken glass on the floor shook him awake and Sho bolted, only noticing out of the corner of his eyes that someone was running towards him.  
He felt stupid, so so stupid! How could he have missed the signs? Matsumoto never talking about his family. Matsumoto never taking him home. The beloved bento bag. His shyness whenever they talked about prior relationships. Him never telling Sho anything about his time at university. All the time he had been married. He had never mentioned a girlfriend, but also never said he had a wife. He wore a lot of jewellery and had probably been wearing his wedding band all the time, only that Sho had been too blinded by his crush to notice. To Matsumoto, he had just been a side fling. All the migraines- probably just faking them to spend the time fucking his wife. The way he had hesitated when they kissed- he had had second thoughts. He had used Sho and Sho had allowed it, never allowing himself to even think about other explanations for Matsumoto’s behaviour.

And Ninomiya had backed him up, even encouraged him. He had fallen head over heels for this imposter. He had felt like his life was finally getting exciting again, but now he just wished to erase the last 4 months from his memory. He didn’t care that he had a meeting left, that his stuff was still at his desk. He didn’t even mind the rain, if anything it reminded him of this first day they had met and of his stupidity. Stupid. Stupid! His phone was buzzing in his pocket and Sho was secretly hoping that the rain would damage it beyond repair to cut off all ties to this despicable human being. He walked all the way home, the rain drenching him to the bone. By now his brain had started to go numb as if it was trying to spare him the pain. His keys were still at his desk but his landlord had mercy and opened his apartment with a spare key, not even asking him about the reason why he was showing up looking like this in the middle of the day.

Without thinking further, Sho opened the bottle whiskey Aiba had gifted him for his birthday, the one he had been saving for a special occasion, and poured himself a big glass which he downed in one go. The rest of the evening was a blur and the next morning he called in sick. Slowly, it was sinking in that Matsumoto had been playing with him for the last months and Sho felt like a fool again. There was no way to explain Matsumoto’s reasoning for going behind his back like this and he really felt betrayed. Not only by Matsumoto, but also by Aiba and Ninomiya, especially Ninomiya, who must have known all of this.

When he finally turned his phone back on, he had missed over 50 calls- about half of them from Aiba, a few from his family (Aiba must have called them), a few from Ninomiya, but none from Matsumoto. What did he expect? Why was he even hoping for Matsumoto to call him? There was no good explanation for the abominable things Matsumoto had done to both him and his wife. Sho wondered if his wife knew about the misfortune he had brought over their marriage. But it had not only been him and soon enough, Sho found his anger directed both at himself and Ninomiya. He could not bear to think of Aiba as part of this, after all he had probably not known anything about Matsumoto’s marital status. Maybe he should call him. The thought lasted only as long as it took him to look at his phone to see another missed call from Ninomiya. In anger, Sho flung his phone against the next wall, leaving a dent in the plaster. When he picked up the phone again, only the protective foil had shattered and the notification was still blinking at him in an angry white. The half empty whiskey bottle was still resting on his kitchen counter and this time he didn’t even care to get out a glass- he took a swig directly from the bottle.  
  
He sobered up immediately when he heard a key turn in his lock. The bottle had been empty almost 5 hours ago and by now he was not really drunk anymore and the noise had cleared away the last fog. Someone was entering his apartment and he was in no condition to have visitors. He didn’t want to see anyone and what if it was a burglar? Before he could get a kitchen knife the door to his living room was opened and Sho froze.  
“What the hell do you want?”  
“Good evening, Sakurai-san.” Ninomiya bowed slightly though he was trembling with suppressed rage. “We need to talk.”  
Sho had made a step towards Ninomiya, ready to punch him. How dare he show up like this? After all he had done to them?  
“You reek.” Ninomiya scrunched up his face and turned away. “Take a shower, then we’ll talk.”  
What was the little piece of shit thinking? If he had been a little more drunk, Sho would have probably broken his jaw, but he managed to stop himself from beating Ninomiya unconscious, only stepping aside to let him cross the threshold into the living room. Ninomiya sat down on the sofa, leaving the armchair for Sho, who, after a few seconds, sat down and stared at Ninomiya with not very well concealed hatred.  
"Well, talk...” He gestured at Ninomiya and leaned back, crossing his arms.  
"Do you have any idea, what you’ve done to Jun-kun?” Ninomiya spat out. Before he could stop himself, Sho started laughing.  
“What I have done to Matsumoto?” He echoed in disbelief. “Matsumoto cheated on his wife with me. He‘s married and you even helped him. This is ridiculous!”  
He was on his feet again, his hands in fists. This talk would not change anything. But before he could continue, Ninomiya interrupted him.  
“His wife is dead.“

  
Sho stopped, froze and sat down again, his heart dropping. He felt like the most horrible person on the planet, worse than he had just minutes ago.  
“He never... you never...” He couldn’t even form a coherent sentence.  
On the sofa, Ninomiya was starting to relax. In a monotonous voice he continued.  
“They were high school sweethearts. She was my younger sister. She died last year in April.”  
Though he was trying to hide it, the grief was etched into Ninomiya‘s face. The circles below his eyes seemed to have darkened just by talking about her.  
Sho didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” It sounded lame and dishonest.  
“I’m only telling you this, because you were good to Jun. Good for Jun. And I want to fix it.”  
Ninomiya had shrugged off his coat and had started getting comfortable. “I was the oldest in our class, she was the youngest. We first met Jun-kun in middle school. We had both joined the baseball team and spent all of our free time together. He was wild, cocky and maybe a bit arrogant, constantly late to class. Only when she was around he would go all shy and awkward. They started dating in the first year of high school. He proposed after they were both accepted at the same university. I was always third wheeling on their dates, but both insisted. Jun-kun took me along to chose the engagement ring. In our second year of university they married and moved in together. She was diagnosed with cancer 5 weeks later.” Ninomiya paused and looked up, searching for a sign to continue.

Sho was still frozen, but had started leaning forwards.  
“Dying from cancer is never easy. Jun-kun spent weeks at her bedside and only ever left her for writing exams. She died while he had his final year exams. He wasn’t there, and he still hates himself for it. We both took off a year after university, trying to deal. Jun started falling sick often and I feared I was going to lose him, too.” With shock Sho noticed the tears in Ninomiya‘s eyes. He didn’t strike him as the type to cry.  
“He saw a counsellor for some time, but the only thing that really helped him was meeting you.”  
Now Ninomiya looked angry and desperate. “He was not ready to talk about her. We both knew you were going to find out sooner or later.”  
They both stayed silent for some time. Ninomiya wiped away any traces of tears and Sho thought about what he had just found out. It didn’t matter if he was the biggest jerk there was, but he needed to fix this. “Is Matsumoto... is Jun ok?”  
Ninomiya shook his head.  
“He saw you yesterday. I think he was not prepared for both your reaction and having to explain everything.”  
He ran a tired hand over his face, pausing for a second and added. "He texted me that he had another migraine, but I’m not sure. I’ll take you there."  
Sho was already through the door to the entrance when Ninomiya stopped him.  
"Shower first.” He wrinkled his nose and pointed towards the bathroom. "If he really has a migraine, you shouldn’t upset his olfactory nerves, he tends to throw up."


	8. Jun

Chapter 8: Jun

"Coming in!" Ninomiya pushed open the door to Jun’s apartment. There was a simple wooden sign stating his name next to the door, a purple rug lying in front of the threshold, other than that it looked like the average undersized apartment. Following Ninomiya, Sho entered Jun’s apartment for the first time. He was met with the faint smell of Matsumoto, instantly making his heart speed up. It was a smell he usually loved, but now it was only fuelling his anxiety. He had wronged Jun and was not sure if he would be able to make it up to him. In the meantime, Ninomiya had taken off his shoes and leaned back on the doorframe, waiting for Sho to follow him. With a half silent "sorry for intruding!" Sho stepped away from the entrance and up the small step separating the dirty outside from the clean inside of the apartment. If Jun had heard them, he was clearly not showing it.  
While he followed Ninomiya, Sho carefully took in his surroundings. There was a small shrine with the picture of the woman on Jun’s wedding photo which looked sparkling clean. He must dust it regularly, Sho thought. The small hallway lead into the living room with an adjoining kitchen. Everything was very tidy except for one lonely whiskey glass left on the kitchen counter. The couch looked barely used but comfortable, and if he had been here under different circumstances Sho would have probably made a dive for it. If he hadn’t moved, Sho would not have seen him, but a small flicker of the evening sun as the light reflected from the window drew Sho’s attention towards the still figure.  
Jun was not facing them, instead was carefully caring to a small bonsai tree, rewinding the wire and clipping off a few dead leaves. He was utterly focused and did not acknowledge them, even though Sho was certain he had noticed them entering. Ninomiya was still leaning against the doorframe and after he met Sho’s gaze stepped away and closed the door, leaving him with Jun.

The awkwardness was palpable and Sho didn’t know how to even approach Jun. It was as if he had lost all words, frozen in time and place. Finally Jun looked up, meeting his eyes and not turning away. His eyes were red rimmed, giving away that he had cried earlier, even if he was trying to hide it. Only now Sho noticed that his hand was shaking slightly and he was clenching the shears so hard that his knuckles were turning white. There was something fierce in his stare; he was hurt, but not backing down. Before Sho even knew what he was doing, his body moved, he dropped down on his knees and bent forward, his forehead touching the ground between his hands.  
"I am so sorry!" He wasn’t usually one to cry, but he felt tears welling up, spilling over his cheeks and leaving wet tracks. He only hoped Jun would be willing to forgive him. Staying down Sho waited for his reply, not daring to look up.  
"Get up." Jun’s voice was a silent whisper of barely suppressed anger and sadness. Sho heard him move over to the sofa before he eventually dared to look up. Jun had sat down, his chin resting on his hand and wet tears shining in his eyes. "I'm not really angry." He ran a hand over his face as if he was trying to wipe away the unshed tears only to leave wet tracks all over his face.

  
"I'm sorry. I was not ready to tell you." He readjusted his position, pulling his knees up to hug them as if they were the only thing in the room he could hold on to. "That's the only reason I'm a bit angry- I needed time and you took it from me to decide when I could tell you."  
Sho was still on his knees, the dull ache behind is knee caps a grim reminder of his wrongdoing. He didn't dare shift his weight. If only he stayed like this a bit longer he could hang on to the moment where he still was able to make everything right.  
He didn't know what to say, so in the end he just repeated. "I'm sorry." He didn't even dare ask for forgiveness, afraid of Jun's answer. The sound of bare feet padding towards the kitchen made him look back up again and while he listened to the sound of the water kettle being prepared and the strangely comforting clinking of cups he resettled back on his knees, shifting them slightly so his body weight came to rest on the side of his hip and his outer thigh. He still didn't feel ready to sit down on the couch and decided to stay on the floor until Jun returned.  
It was very quiet in the hallway and Sho was starting to believe that Ninomiya had already left, only to be a bit surprised by the sound of the closing door. So he had only left now and Sho couldn't help but wonder if they were going to be ok.  
A few minutes later Jun returned with a tray carrying two white porcelain cups and a similar pot steaming with tea. On a small plate next to it were two small pieces of Namagashi shaped like cherry blossoms. Even though Jun was clearly upset, he had taken the time to get out the sweets representing his name and Sho was not quite sure what to make of that ache in his chest. Without talking or even acknowledging Sho, Jun sat the tray down and arranged the cups on the coffee table. And when Sho was starting to get anxious, Jun finally sat down, picked up his cup and blew on the surface of the steaming green tea before he started talking.

  
"I guess Kazu told you about how we met. We got married under the blooming cherry blossoms. I loved her more than anyone before, but it was only a few weeks later that she noticed a lump in her right breast. She was still young, so at first we didn't think anything of it, but she made an appointment with her doctor anyway. They tried cutting it out, they tried chemotherapy, they tried all kind of new medication, but in the end it had spread to her lungs and her brain. In her final weeks, she didn't even recognize me anymore."  
Jun's voice had started shaking and tears were running over his cheeks, the cup of tea spilling it's contents over Jun's fingers, but he didn't seem to care. Slowly, Sho got up, sitting down next to Jun, unclamping his fingers and taking the cup from his hands, carefully settling it back down on the table. And before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled him into a hug.

A few weeks later

Touched by the light of the late autumn sun, Jun looked more beautiful than ever. He was kneeling on front of the grave and quietly speaking when Sho approached him. "I guessed I'd find you here." He held out a small bouquet of white chrysanthemums. "I thought it would be fit to bring some flowers." Sho bowed his head and placed them in the vase fixed on the grave.  
"Please keep me in your favour. I promise I'll take good care of him." He took Jun's hand and together they left the cemetery.

Later, lying comfortably in bed together, Sho stared at Jun's sleeping face in wonder. How did he deserve this? Now a days Jun seemed happier. His eyelashes were fanned out against his pale cheeks and he was breathing evenly, his head resting against Sho's chest. What had he done to deserve this? Lazily Sho ran a hand over Jun's head. "Sleeping beauty, let's get you cleaned up first."  
With a small jerk Jun came to and slowly sat up, guided by Sho's hand against his lower back. He smiled sleepily and nodded. "Thank you." Sho didn't need to reply; he just leaned in and placed his lips against Jun's, savouring the sweet taste.  
"I love you, Matsumoto Jun."

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you like it! I took some liberties with your requests (mainly because I was to dumb to read the part about different companies, so they ended up in the same...). I hope it was not too much Angst for you, I tried to keep it as light as possible, but the plot I had in mind worked better with some Angst...  
> Big thanks also to my beta who was incredibly fast and really nice!  
> So, I hope you enjoyed this :)


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